Options

Auntie Lori and I discussed whether or not mom should stay in the Philippines or come to the US. 

Pros of Staying in PI:

1. Mom is getting excellent care at Makati.  The doctors and nurses speak mom's language.  Their bedside care is top notch. She has nine specialists and two nurses.  She will not get this kind of service in the US.

2.  Auntie Ne is able to help them 24/7 at an ultra-affordable rate.  A full-time caregiver in the states will cost several thousand per month.  A home-care nurse will cost about $1000 per month.

Cons of Staying in PI:

1.  Dad will have to find a rental close to Makati.  Mom will need to be within close distance to the hospital at all times.  They will not be able to live in Zambales any longer.  Mom's house is not suitable for her condition (too many steps and danger zones) and there is no dependable transportation there if there is an emergency in the middle of the night.

2.  Dad will have to pay 25% of all medical services since Tricare only covers 75%.  Not all doctors are accredited by Tricare and that is an additional cost.  

Pros of Going to the US:

1. Dad will not have to pay anything out of pocket for any of mom's medical services.

2. Mom can go to a stomach cancer specialist at Loma Linda.

3.  We will all be close to mom and dad and we will not have to spend thousands of dollars to visit mom when she is sick.

4.  If we do not take mom home now, while she is somewhat well, if her health declines, she will no longer have the chance to fly home to be with us in her last months/years.

Cons of Going to the US:

1.  Dad and mom will live by themselves (dad does not want to live with me permanently) in an apartment without Auntie Ne (unless we can get her an emergency visa).  Who will wash their clothes and clean their house?  Mom is no longer able to do these things independently.  I offered for mom and dad to live with me so that I could do their laundry, keep the house clean, and cook for them (things I already do) but Dad does not like depending on anyone.

2.  A home-care nurse will be expensive.  A caregiver might be affordable.

At the end of our conversation we decided that 

"If we do not take mom home now, while she is somewhat well, if her health declines, she will no longer have the chance to fly home to be with us in her last months/years."

was the most important deciding factor.  Does this sound right to you?  It was important for me to really lay out the options so that we don't make emotional decisions that may not work out in the long run.  If we bring mom home, we will all have to put in the time and money to support mom and dad emotionally and financially.  

One more note...Dad is trying to sell his land in the Philippines so that it will pay for the majority of expenses in the first year.  

Let's get ready for the coming year.  It will surely test us all.